Sunday, February 19, 2012

Interview With An Elf Dog 

 Pat: Welcome to the blog of Author, Nancy Lee Parish. With me today is....hey! What happened to the sign?

 Bub: (trying to look innocent) What sign?

 Pat: The sign up there! The one that’s supposed to say “Nancy Lee Parish - Author!” Are those your paw prints?

 Bub: No.

 Pat: You are a dog, aren’t you?

 Bub: (Duh! Where did they get this guy?) Well, technically I’m an Elf Dog.

 Pat: Did you change the sign?

 Bub: It fell. I just put it back up.

 Pat: And crossed off Nancy’s name and added your own?

 Bub: Is this the interview?

 Pat: (sigh...) We’ll deal with the sign later. So, tell me. What’s it like to have your first book out?

 Bub: Book? What book?

 Pat: The one you’re in. You know, Amulet? You’re one of the stars!

 Bub: Excuse me! My life is not a book! Though I do admit I’ve had some incredible adventures. I’ve also tasted the finest sausages and gravy, and met the most delightful ladies.

 Pat: Yes, I understand you like to eat.

 Bub: Have you been spying on me?

 Pat: No, I read the book. I read about the ladies and your fondness for ear-rubs, as well.

Bub: You have been spying on me!

 Pat: It’s all in the book, Amulet!

 Bub: Do you often interview non-existent book characters? Am I a figment of your imagination? (This guy is dragon fodder!)

 Pat: (...)

 Bub: Good answer! So, If I am just a character in a book, who the blazes are you talking to? Lovely word, by the way, Thoral. Thank you.

 Pat: Thoral is another character in Amulet, right?

 Bub: You are insistent, aren’t you? I don’t know why you think my life is a book. I suppose it could be a book, and a fine one at that! I am, after all, a warrior at heart, a champion with the ladies, and a connoisseur of delectable gourmet delights!

 Pat: A warrior who likes ear-rubs?

 Bub: Hey! Now you’re getting personal! (I hope she’s not paying this guy!)

 Pat: Sorry. It’s just that I read it...

 Bub: a book. I know, I know. Crikey! I have some crystals with me that might be able to help with your delusions.

 Pat: Let’s just leave the crystals out of this, shall we? Now, tell me more about Thoral.

 Bub: Everyone wants to know about Thoral! I thought you were interviewing me?

 Pat: Well, I am interviewing you. But I wanted to talk about the book you’re in. You know, the one you think you’re not in. Or was it that there is no book? Now you’ve got me confused!

 Bub: Thoral’s not in a book, either. Just thought I’d mention it.

 Pat: So, neither is Tristan? Or Elias, or Hughet, or Seneca, or any of the others?

 Bub: Who are you, anyway? How do you know these people?

 Pat and Bub: The book.

 Bub: How about if we just leave this “book” out of it, and you can ask me about my life? But before we start, do you have any biscuits? I like the cinnamon ones.

 Pat: Dog biscuits?

 Bub: If there was a book, you didn’t read it, did you?

 Pat: Right. No dog biscuits. Fresh baked, regular biscuits.

 Bub: Now you’re talking! (Crikey! I could interview better than this bonehead!)

 Pat: There are some in the other room. Just a minute, I’ll be right back.

 (Pat leaves, door shuts behind him.)

 Bub: All’s clear! Quick, Thoral! Lock the door!

 Thoral: Aye! He’s an odd one, ain’t he? I’m sure he means well, an’ all. And what’s this book he’s talkin’ ‘bout?

 Bub: I have no idea! But we can do some real interviews now!


Will Bub take over the interviewing? Will Pat be able to get back into the room, and what will he find if he does? Is there a book or not? Find out the answers to these questions and more in the next installment of Bub’s Dragon!